Is it too late to publish this? Eh, whatever…
- Shamelessly living with your parents until you’re 30
- Those Goddamn awful high-waisted jeans
- Pretending to be offended by everything (that’s right, snowflakes, I’m calling you out—I know all that outrage can’t possibly be real!)
- Plant-based meats at fast food restaurants and documentaries promoting veganism
- The big ass trend… I mean, just, why?
- Teslas, and all the other electric cars only assholes drive
- Digital courses from stay-at-home moms who swear they can help you make money with affiliate marketing
- Life coaches
- Whatever the fuck Snapchat even is…
- All things Google-related. Seriously, I can’t wait to see them go bankrupt.
- Grocery stores who try to guilt you into donating money while you shop
- Facetime, Skype, and all other video chat platforms. (Until we’re face-to-face, I won’t put on a bra just to talk to you.)
- Buzzfeed, and all the shitty brands they own. (It started out fun until they took a hard left.)
- Fucking cauliflower EVERYTHING. (No, you cannot just air fry vegetables and pretend it’s the same as KFC.)
- Keto, Whole 30, and gluten-free assholes (it’s one thing if you have celiac disease, but let’s face it, must of you don’t.)
- Hard-core feminists who seem to think we still live in the 1800s (seriously, what rights do American women not have today?)
- Rebooting of awful TV sitcoms
- Recruiters and the staffing firms that breed them
- Restaurants that sell avocado toast
- YouTubers who’ve basically turned their channels into an online-only QVC
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