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Is it too late to publish this?  Eh, whatever…

 

  1. Shamelessly living with your parents until you’re 30
  2. Those Goddamn awful high-waisted jeans
  3. Pretending to be offended by everything (that’s right, snowflakes, I’m calling you out—I know all that outrage can’t possibly be real!)
  4. Plant-based meats at fast food restaurants and documentaries promoting veganism
  5. The big ass trend… I mean, just, why?
  6. Teslas, and all the other electric cars only assholes drive
  7. Digital courses from stay-at-home moms who swear they can help you make money with affiliate marketing
  8. Life coaches
  9. Whatever the fuck Snapchat even is…
  10. All things Google-related. Seriously, I can’t wait to see them go bankrupt.
  11. Grocery stores who try to guilt you into donating money while you shop
  12. Facetime, Skype, and all other video chat platforms. (Until we’re face-to-face, I won’t put on a bra just to talk to you.)
  13. Buzzfeed, and all the shitty brands they own. (It started out fun until they took a hard left.)
  14. Fucking cauliflower EVERYTHING. (No, you cannot just air fry vegetables and pretend it’s the same as KFC.)
  15. Keto, Whole 30, and gluten-free assholes (it’s one thing if you have celiac disease, but let’s face it, must of you don’t.)
  16. Hard-core feminists who seem to think we still live in the 1800s (seriously, what rights do American women not have today?)
  17. Rebooting of awful TV sitcoms
  18. Recruiters and the staffing firms that breed them
  19. Restaurants that sell avocado toast
  20. YouTubers who’ve basically turned their channels into an online-only QVC
  21. Vegans
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