Most of the items listed below should be more than sufficient for losing your date’s interest, however, if you really want to make sure he never calls you again, please feel free to complete all 17 items.
You’re welcome.
17 Things To Do To Make Sure Your Bad Date Ends ASAP— And Prevent A Second Date
1. Start talking about your favorite baby names
2. Talk about your favorite season for a wedding, and why it’s better than the other 3 (if you live in a seasonless hell like Alaska or California, then talk about which third-world country you’d pick for a destination wedding instead.)
3. Provide a detailed summary of your family’s medical history (y’know, so that he knows what he’s signing up for, in case the 2 of you have kids).
4. Continue the conversation as usual, but avoid making eye contact at all costs.
5. Don’t speak louder than a whisper.
6. Talk about how embarrassing it is getting recognized in public, and when he asks what you mean, say you were in a 1999 Walmart catalogue that people just can’t seem to forget about.
7. No matter what he drives, tell him his car is charming, but needs more personality. Suggest that he purchase more decorative pieces, like fuzzy dice or a faux-leather steering wheel cover.
8. Spoil the endings of as many TV shows, movies, and books as you can think of.
9. Pick a movie with a ridiculous plot, like Free Willy or Titanic, and describe the story as if it’s something that happened to you.
10. Try to recruit him for a pyramid scheme (it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re actually a member yourself, but for your sake, I hope you’re not).
11. Casually apply lipstick without a mirror— and get it all over your teeth.
12. Insist on chewing every bite at least 30 times before you can swallow and open your mouth again to speak.
13. Tell him that being financially responsible is very important to you, and then proceed to let him know how much you paid for every piece of clothing/ jewelry you’re wearing.
14. Excuse yourself at least 3 times during dinner to use the “little princesses’ room.”
15. Use your phone to fact-check EVERYTHING he says.
16. Find a way to keep steering the conversation back to William Shakespeare.
17. Ask him how many followers he has, and then give him tips for getting more.
Don’t forget to share this on social and tag all your single friends! And leave a comment below if you think I should publish a version with tips for guys!
Thanks for reading 🙂
