1. Would you rather be married to someone who’s painfully boring or someone who’s obnoxiously pretentious?


2. Would you rather become a full-time ice sculptor or busk on a street corner for a living?


3. Would you rather live next door to a house full of rats or be in a homeowners’ association with Mariah Carey?


4. Would you rather break your two front teeth or spend the rest of your life in a third-world country?


5. Would you rather drive across the country wearing adult diapers or work for Tom Cruise?


6. Would you rather hear your boss’s political opinions on a regular basis or lose one of your fingers in a coffee grinder?

funny wall art print - 'in this house, we watch our f*cking language"


7. Would you rather live in a town with good restaurants who don’t offer delivery or live in a town with ZERO good restaurants?


8. Would you rather listen to a podcast about the vegan lifestyle or listen to Christian rock?


9. Would you rather marry into the Clinton family or accidentally piss off a mobster?


10. Would you rather be Gwyneth Paltrow’s live-in nanny or spend a year living in a tiny house?


11. Would you rather live in California or get crabs?


12. Would you rather get left at the alter or find out after a year of marriage that you’re related to your spouse?


13. Would you rather become a magician’s assistant or drive a city bus?


14. Would you rather be attacked by an owl or get shat on by a pigeon on your way to a first date?


15. Would you rather trade places with Lena Dunham’s gynecologist or Kanye West’s psychiatrist?


16. Would you rather never drink champagne again or never shave again?


17. Would you rather use a hot air balloon as your main form of transportation or spend the rest of your life barefoot?


18. Would you rather host a game show or host a podcast about marketing?


19. Would you rather let Winona Ryder into your home or follow the same diet as Celine Dion?


20. Would you rather be struck by lightening or marry your boss?


21. Would you rather let Coldplay or U2 perform at your wedding?


22. Would you rather go see Amy Schumer do stand-up or watch a women’s basketball game?


23. Would you rather get all the rest of your meal from Panera Bread or the Olive Garden?


24. Would you rather join the circus or live in Mexico for the rest of your life?


25. Would you rather be a full-time ventriloquist or weigh 600 pounds?  (For those of you outside of the US, that’s like a shitload of kilograms.)


26. Would you rather be Larry David’s kid or look exactly like Bernie Sanders?


27. Would you rather drive a Flintstones-style car or live without Internet access?


28. Would you rather drink a cup of buffalo sauce or sell life insurance for a living?


29. Would you rather be abducted by aliens or join the Church of Scientology?


30. Would you rather encounter a rabid coyote or go streaking across a football field?


31. Would you rather spend the rest of your life living in an undeveloped African country or join NASA’s Mars program?